By: Billy Cartee
Have you ever been on the outside of an inside joke?
It’s probably one of the more awkward interactions. Eyes hesitantly moving left to right in your head, half developed grin and a weird mumbling laugh that you never really knew you could make.
Chances are you’re a victim of this experience.
The application of this scenario is more relevant than we all think—being an outsider or the odd one out is uncomfortable…to say the least.
First, who are the insiders? To me, insiders are the ones who always know, the ones who are in control and the ones where it always looks so easy. Insiders have always gotten what they want and never really had to thrive in an environment that challenged their liberties. Over and over, they lived their lives in the comfort zone. Due to these ingredients, they are generally a pretty happy, successful individual, which we all grow to admire. Not to mention, for a lot of us we are highly attracted to these traits and the opportunity to be with someone like this is irresistible. Things work out for the insiders, glass houses never shatter…right?
Who are the outsiders? The butt of the joke, maybe? The outsiders are gritty, they experience shit. They take risks and these risks most of the time never work out in their favor. Outsiders have a serious inclination to do things they are not good at, because doing the things they are good at really makes no sense. Outsiders are antiestablishment, they are creative, they bend the rules…but what I find most inspiring is they are honest with themselves and the ones they love. Outsiders have the astonishing ability to get up after they fall and walk away even when it hurts the most.
I have had relationships with insiders romantically and platonically. My findings are that insiders take the easy way out, they lie, they cheat and avoid cumbersome situations at all costs. They are everything when things are going good, they say all the right things when its easy and they make exciting moments unforgettable. But who are they when the cards are down? This is where being an outsider serves as an advantage. They have been bred in difficult situations, they know how to handle heartbreak. Having the ability to put yourself in complicated and vulnerable situations puts you on the outside. You’re willing to get hurt for not what is great, but for what is breathtakingly incredible, unreasonable and the ultimate shot in the dark.
The insider doesn't lose sleep over the infidelity or the prospect of a broken heart, they live their life. They say words that mean nothing after action, they apologize to feel better about themselves. They do not know what it’s like to be on the other side.
But, how I am so grateful for the insiders…because they make the outsiders so much better. Because of them our emotions heighten, our abilities grow and we ultimately become empowered by the pain they transgress. They will always be a means to an end and will never truly be present.